Dressed in Black

by Pastor Marty

My heart dresses in black and dances.
~ Mary Oliver

Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
Ps. 30

We said good-bye but this time it was different. It was a long good-bye filled with hugs and tears. It started in the kitchen then moved out to the garage, and finally, it was like a family reunion around the pickup. There, more hugs were exchanged and a valiant effort to hold back the tears.

Finally, we were able to pull out the driveway.

We spent part of our summer vacation in 2018 with my mom. She was the best! She treated me royally every time that I came home…but it was always like that. Hospitality was her signature. Welcoming people around her table was both joy and delight. She had four children and each one was her favorite. She loved and prayed us into vitality and was always available for endless support. If we needed her, she was there. She loved us completely…and we knew it!

Finally, on that hot July afternoon, we were able to pull out the driveway. We got a mile down the road and I said to Steph, “That feels like the last good-bye. Maybe we should turn around and go back.” We didn’t…. Thirty-six hours later I got the call. Mom died. That strong presence in my life was now, suddenly, gone.

There have been moments, stretches, and seasons of sadness and grief in the months and years since my mom’s death. I like this quote from Mary Oliver because it is honest, “My heart dresses in black and dances.” As I think about both of my parents, my heart will always wear black. Simply put, I miss them. On the other hand, my heart dances because I know, and they knew, the promises of Jesus. My mom would often say, as she thought about heaven, “Just think what I have to look forward to!”

Your heart, for whatever reason, might be dressed in black. Yes, life. Please know, that a heart dressed in black can also dance. Both realities can be true at the same time. In the meantime, hold unto your loved ones, and if you get a chance to turn around and give them another hug…do it!

-- Pastor Marty

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