Broken Beyond Repair

by Rollie J.

Do you feel broken? Do you feel beyond repair and restoration? Has the weight of life’s struggles crushed your spirit? Has COVID-19 torn your life apart to the point that you no longer know what “normal” looks like? Do you feel wounded and beat up, like there is no hope for your future?

We all feel broken at times. Many times, life throws us the proverbial unexpected curveball. We just couldn’t see it coming. We didn’t do anything to bring it on or do anything to deserve it. The devastating curveball came at us from out of the blue. A diagnosis of cancer. A stroke. A heart attack. A spouse who walks out on you for another. A pink slip that says you are no longer needed here. A devastating car accident. You weren’t accepted into the school of your dreams. You’re still single and lonely. You’re in a lifeless marriage, feeling trapped and lonely. Your child struggles with depression and anxiety and you’re at wits end. Your washing machine, dishwasher, and car all break down in the same week. You can’t hug your grandkids or your mom or dad in their care facility. You feel disconnected and isolated from all this crazy COVID rollercoaster riding.

Sometimes our brokenness has a direct correlation to the mistakes and choices we’ve made. We are suffering the consequences of our actions and decisions. We maybe reach for the bottle instead of facing ourselves and seeking real help. We make excuse after excuse and refuse to admit we are negative, crabby, grumpy people. We fall back on “that’s just how I am,” or it’s the other persons fault. We wallow in self-pity refusing to address our own weaknesses by reaching out for therapy. We recycle argument after argument spinning in circles of turbulence and negativity with our spouse, refusing to deal with the real problem of both being broken, imperfect people who need outside help to heal and move forward. We’ve cheated and lied our way through business and now wonder why we are so alone. We get out of breath by walking a flight of stairs, never looking into the mirror of self-reflection to realize we have eaten ourselves out of house and home during these Corona times. We realize we’ve never left our two most intimate companions: Netflix and Sofa.

Brokenness is a common human affliction. Sometimes it happens to us. Sometimes we bring it on through our choices and decisions. But we will all feel broken at various points in out lives. But if you feel broken beyond repair… keep reading.

A few months ago, I received a text and this video from one of my life-long best friends, Duncan Puffer. Repairs were being done to his home this past winter and a piece of heavy machinery unknowingly backed up onto his cedar-strip-fiberglass canoe, crushing the hull tearing two ten feet long rips/cracks in both layers of fiberglass and cedar.

Duncan was devastated. His treasured canoe was now broken beyond repair. It was crushed beyond usability. Canoes with massive tears in the hull usually don’t work very well. His anger, frustration and sense of loss were palpable.

Adding insult to injury, was the fact that this gorgeous canoe had been hand-crafted by our mutual friend John Flaherty years ago for Duncan. A canoe like this takes months to build with massive amounts of love, sweat, and TLC. In a heartbeat of inattention, a construction worker had destroyed it. The loss of the canoe, and the sentimentality attached to it added to the deflated feelings of Duncan.

A month ago, Duncan arrived at my doorstep with this canoe on his trailer. “Rollie, I want you to have this canoe. It might be beyond repair. Do with it what you want. If you can’t fix it, destroy it. If you can fix it, keep it, use it in your ministries, or maybe you can make a couple bucks if you can sell it. It’s got to be worth something.”

Immediately after Duncan left my house, I began by assessing the damage. First off, I came to admire the phenomenal craftsmanship of the original creator, John. His skills, finesse, minute attention to detail were impressive. His work and care in creating this canoe showed signs of a careful and talented craftsman.

And then, for the past month, like a hyper-focused mad scientist, I’ve been hunkered down in my garage shop, covered in sawdust, and sticky with resin and fiberglass. It has become my obsession, and every free waking moment, I’ve been out there, garage radio blaring, working on this restoration. My Frankenstein will live again!

With the final coat of clear high-gloss spar varnish rolled on last night, I am proud to announce the rebirth of Duncan’s and John’s canoe. It has been redeemed. It has been restored. It has been renewed. It has been refreshed. It has been born again. It has been brought back from death to life. If you look very, very closely you may be able to see some of the scars and trauma from the original wounds. You may be able to detect and refer to where it was completely injured and broken. But it has been made stronger by the repairs done to it. Not only has it been restored functionally, but so has its beauty, elegance, and dignity.

My plan is to deliver this canoe back to its rightful owner, Duncan. I plan to secretly lay it in his driveway during the workday. I want to return this to him because he first surrendered it completely to me.

You are never damaged beyond repair. You are never too broken for God to do his work of redemption, restoration, and renewal. You are never so far gone that God cannot restore you to function, useful purpose, meaning, and to beauty. God is not only capable of performing the most incredible repairs, He is willing and wanting to make those in your life.

He can take the most hideous physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds and scars and make you stronger and more beautiful because of them. He will weave that brokenness and your recovery into the strength and story of your new life.

This work of repair and restoration cannot begin until you surrender completely. You can’t do it halfway. You can’t give God just part of it. You must surrender all. Then you must be still and quiet while the Master Healer goes to work. This work is done to you, not by you. The work of redemption is done to you and for you, not by your own human effort, will power, or stout resolution. This canoe did not pull itself up by its own bootstraps!

So, if you are feeling broken, wounded, and deeply scarred, come to Jesus. Lay your life before Him in surrender and allow him to make the necessary changes and repairs in your life. He is the only one who can do this.

May God heal your woundedness and brokenness, and use your healing for your good and that of others.

-- Rollie J.