Rejected

by Rollie J.

Let me introduce you to Dumbledor. Dumbledor is a male sheep, or a ram, ear tag #21. He was born in Feb 2019 and he was a born with a twin. When Dumbledor was just two days old his mother rejected him, refusing to let him suckle. Who knows why his mother rejected him? Maybe she favored the other twin, maybe Dumbledor was unattractive, but it was most likely due to his mother not being able to produce enough milk for two lambs. Nature can be harsh and cruel. The flock, the herd, the family, the school, and the church can all be harsh and cruel.

The owners, Jason and Lynn Kutrba, who run Harvest Hope Farm, witnessed this severe rejection of this lonely little lamb. They immediately took Dumbledor into the garage and began feeding him bottles of milk every four hours and wrapping him in warm sheets to keep him warm.

After a few weeks of hand feeding, the Kutrbas returned Dumbledor back to the flock. Once again, Dumbledor experienced the deep pain of rejection. This time the entire flock rejected his presence and wouldn’t accept him. He was shunned and kept at a distance from the other sheep. Most likely because he smelled like humans. The flock can be harsh and cruel.

He was soon placed in a pen next to Festus, the black and white, tiny horse. Over time, Festus and Dumbledor became best of friends and became almost inseparable. Ever since, Festus and Dumbledor have stayed together, even taking joy runs across the Kutrba’s field. Dumbledor won’t go anywhere that he can’t see Festus! These two odd-ducks, outcasts, or misfits who were rejected by the crowd, have found in each other a beautiful friendship.

I have met Dumbledor personally on two different occasions. He is warm and friendly and one of the first to run to the fence edge to be petted and caressed. He is affectionate and loving particularly when I have some Purina Sheep Chow in my hand! I love petting his thick, luxurious, and warm wool. Every time I’ve come to visit, his best pal and wingman, Festus, is right behind him. I smile when I see this beautiful, mutually loving friendship. (Here’s a short little video of Dumbledor and Festus.)

Rejection, that horrible and gut wrenching feeling of being unaccepted. Most all of us have experienced this difficult emotional state. It can last a day, a month, a season, or for some of us it can last a lifetime and impact us on deep emotional levels inhibiting our potential.

Rejection takes many forms. From being picked last on the grade-school kickball field, to the mean girls' crowd in middle school, to bullies and popular kids of high school. Rejection comes frequently in the dating world, when you’re told: “you’re not the one” or the dreaded; “let’s just be friends.” (I know from way too many “friends!”) An unfaithful spouse, a hurtful divorce, a betrayal of a good friend, or just a one-way friendship that never happens unless you make the phone call. Resumes that go unanswered and job offers that never come. They all leave us wounded and hurting.

Most difficult of all is the rejection that comes from a mom or dad. Maybe they favored your brother or sister in subtle or obvious ways. Maybe they chose alcohol or drugs over you. Maybe work was their first love, and you took third, or fourth, or last place. Maybe they had deep emotional issues that they never had the courage or resources to deal with, and they were just incapable of loving you. Dumbledor, we feel for you brother.

We all experience rejection on some level. Many of us learn from it, and the experience makes us wiser, stronger, and more sensitive and compassionate with others. Some of us never get past it and carry the pain and heavy burden with us into all our endeavors. The emotional wound is a heavy black cloud that taints all our experiences and the weight we carry on our shoulders causes our shoulders to stoop and our gaze to look continually downward.

Richard Rohr, Franciscan Priest, and author wisely writes: "If you do not transform your pain, you will surely transmit it.” Meaning, if you don’t face, confront, deal with, and learn from your emotional pain, you will simply pass it on to someone else… your coworkers, your spouse or most likely your children.

Courageous folks face their pain head on. They enlist a counselor, a therapist, a spiritual director, or a wise mentor to help them work through their pain so that the cycle is broken and stops with them. God can and does work through these gifted people to bring about growth, learning, and healing. But often, God answers our prayers for healing only when we surrender and finally admit that we need help.

I love this story of Dumbledor and Festus. God provided Festus in the absence of a loving mother. God provides, when human love fails. I have witnessed in many men and women, that Jesus himself fills those holes left in a broken and wounded heart. And often He does this in the form of another human being who simply walks alongside of and befriends the broken hearted. A compassionate teacher, a wise coach, a loving Sunday school teacher, a caring grandparent, an observant neighbor, or possibly another lonely and neglected misfit or outcast. Maybe you could become a “Festus” to a hurting “Dumbledor.” May you have eyes to perceive and a heart to care for those in our midst who may be suffering under the load of rejection.

-- Rollie J.