Death to Life

 by Rollie J.

At a recent church council meeting, one of our council members, a middle aged father of four, shared a very insightful comment. He stated; (I paraphrase) “This pandemic had made me realize how crazy my life was prior to Corona Virus. Pre-covid my schedule was insanely busy. It wasn’t all bad, it was just too much of everything, even the good stuff. I do not want to return to that lifestyle. Covid has taught me to slow down, prioritize and appreciate the right stuff.”

Wise words that I think many of us can appreciate and nod “Yes” to. Even with all the negative stresses of sheltering at home, masks, distancing, isolation, closings and finances many of us are realizing the same thing. Much of our old pre-covid lifestyle has died or at least been put on not-so-temporary hold. We are living in a strange holding pattern of waiting and watching very unsure of what life will look like post pandemic. While the very visible signs of the pandemic take front and center stage, the even greater epidemic of fear, anxiety and uncertainty dominate our lives like a shadowy black-sheep sister.

Take a look at the far mountainside in the photo above from my recent elk hunt. Look past the bow, binoculars and beautiful mountain meadow. You’ll see a full mountainside of gray. Those are thousands and thousands of dead trees. The entire wilderness area has been completely devastated over the past 20 years by a mountain beetle infestation. Each year on our sojourn we look upon the mountains with sadness as more and more of the healthy forest disappears to the devastating effects of these beetles. With the passing of wind and thunderstorms, blizzards and heavy snow fall the the mountainsides have become a massive tangle of blowdowns. To walk through this jumbled labyrinth is a frustration of the highest order. This massive jumble then becomes the tinderbox ready to ignite into devastating forest fires. Death in the mountains has been long, and slow, and so very difficult to witness over time. I have grieved its passing many times each year. Long gone is the rich blue-green of healthy, life-filled pine and spruce. It’s been replaced over time by the dullness of gray, brown, and death It’s hard to imagine that so much destruction comes from such a tiny, unseen beetle.

But all is not lost. On our recent trip, I sat soaking up the warm morning sun, enjoying the refreshing, delicious, and icy cold water from a nearby stream. I noticed just a few feet away, a beautiful young spruce sapling. It was healthy and full of good color. It was alive, vibrant and growing. And more importantly, it was growing right out from the remains of a dead tree trunk! Most likely a monarch that had perished in the pine beetle pandemic! I was witnessing life and vitality rise from the nutrients and decay of death!

As I looked around I began noticing hundreds of other young healthy saplings of varying ages growing up from the forest floor. They were everywhere, emerald green, full of life, and reaching arms extended towards the sky. They too were absorbing the life-giving energy of the sun. They were declaring boldly that death would not have the last say on this mountainside. They were an unflinching declaration by the Creator that death and destruction will not win. These humble spruce and pine messengers were a reminder that God is still in charge.

These saplings remind me that there is a much bigger, longer and often slower plan of healing in God’s world. In my hyperactive, instant gratification, impatient, I want it now, and I want it my way world, I can clearly see that God’s rhythm, God’s timing, God’s healing may take time. God’s faithfulness has been slow to reveal itself visibly in this high country. 20 years of revealing to get through this thick and stubborn skull!

So how about you? Back to our Covid world of September 2020? What are you grieving?  What have you lost? What are you mourning? What death have you witnessed? Hugging? Handshaking? Visiting and hugging your mom in the nursing home? Face to face interactions at work? Football games? Your job? Concerts? Worship? Going to the theater? Travel? A sense of security? Income? Hockey tournaments? Retreats?

Our lives of late feel like this strange amalgam of uncertainty, being on hold, out of sorts, awkward and in flux. Like we’re waiting impatiently for all of this to be over. We want a cure and we want it now! Let’s get rid of these stupid masks! Then we can get back to life as we knew it, back to “normal.”

But wait, do we really want to return to “normal” as we knew it? Return if you will to the quote of the council member at the beginning. Do we really want to return to the hectic, over-scheduled, hyper-active, busyness, hamster wheel of our “normal” lives? I don’t.

We are all experiencing loss, grief and death of some sort through all of this. Maybe our prayers need to be more along the lines of; “Lord, from these ashes, from this death and decay of Covid, grow in me newness of life. Let me cast aside that which is old, useless and fluff. Let the false idols of hyper busyness fall away and die in my life. From these remains, grow in and through me vibrant life that counts, that matters, that makes a difference in our world. Give me new priorities, ones that align with your will.”

And help us to be patient. Help us to know that God’s timing is longer, wiser and better for us. Help us to be patient with ourselves, with others, and the world around us. God is still in charge. Death does not have the last say. Life wins.

-- Rollie J.